Lightech,
What you said is well stated. What I am trying to do is what most one-can't provide.
1. A low wattage rig with pro output (LED's make this possible but are very expensive for the upper end fixture)
2. A rig that can be set-up in about an hour and has a non industrial look (less steel exposed, very little extra room taken up around the stage, clean, etc...)
3. Finally and what's really important to me. To have a light show that is programmed for the band and is song specific. i.e. the show has been programmed to match the songs with the hits, solos, bumps, and black outs all being spot on like a touring concert. I think this is when the client can really see what a difference lights make. This just doesn't happen to often at the one-off wedding, fundraiser level.
We just did a show with Bandit Lites that was chaired by the owner and his wife. Needless to say we had more lights than most touring acts easy. It was great to see all the movers, LED curtains, custom special effects, LED tubes, lasers, rotating stage in the round but what it lacked was integration with the songs. This is what I am trying to do on a very micro level...it's just that I will never make my money back so it's hard to justify spending $15,000 in lights because I will never make it back. However, if people would see it I think I could charge a bit extra. I have a passion for this kind of stuff but it is really hard to not just pay more of the house off!